Tuesday, August 28, 2012

You've heard it before

December 10, 2009
I called S in September to find out what to get the little guy for his birthday. I'd already gotten him a small something but I'm kinda over giving meaningless gifts. She gave me the idea to write E a letter telling him his/our story. GREAT yes, so I started writing and writing and writing. I then had a better idea to make a "book" out of it and got paper and the works to make it.
After going through the story I got out ALL the memorabilia and started picking out the photos I wanted in this book. You see, whats a story without pictures! There were some specifically that i would love to have but someone else had those negatives (dang it) so i had to try and scan the pictures in, they look a little funny but it will have to work. ANYWAY. So the real specific ones I wanted were from the day I knew that E was going to be placed for adoption. And the day that I met one member of an amazing family. So I emailed S and was able to get a couple of those pictures from that day.
I didn't think much of it till I went and picked up the print from the store. WOW is all I can say. A, you can tell, had been crying; we all had, and the FULL memory of that day came back! Oh my goodness, I tried to tell Derek a little more detail of that day but its impossible, its to emotional(in a good way). So I had to blog it and tell you the Story of the day that I found E's Mom and Dad.

Susan was a friend of my moms who came out every year for the Festival of the American West. In their usual hi, how are you? Whats been going on? moment my mom let her know that I had become pregnant and was still unsure of what to do. Also that I had been a little stinker for the last 8 months. Her daughter-in-law had a sister and brother-in-law who had just put their papers in to adopt. My mom said that she would talk to me (but I think she told Susan to have her send out their profile before she told me). When I came into work later that day she told me about Susan and A, and that they had a person that was trying to adopt. She also said that if I didn't want to I didn't have to see them or the profile or whatever, but that she had a feeling that she should tell me about them and that I should at least look at their profile. I, even before her telling me that last part, felt very much like I needed to see these people and find out more about them. Up until this time I was unsure about what to do, and was very nervous considering the small amount of time I had left to make a decision. I don't even know how long after A came to Utah to help Susan and the family. She came out to the Center with R & S's profile and I came out to meet them. I came alone, cause I was scared of what the birth father would do or say. But I knew I needed to see these people. As I parked and got out of the car and started walking up to the building I saw A in the doorway and got a very overwhelming feeling. I know what it was but its hard to write down. SO, I almost started crying before I even went in and actually met her and then did when she gave me a hug and said, "S said to give you a big hug from her and R and to tell you they love you." I thought, how in the world do you love someone you have never even talked to nor met in your life?! Well, I knew cause as soon as I saw their pictures I knew that I'd found the people that were going to be Es parents! I wanted to cry right there and then my mom took us into an office so I could read the letter and look at the pictures a little more closely. I sat behind the desk with 3 eyes on me... it was weird being the center of the room and yes attention. But as I looked at the pictures I looked up, crying, and said, "I didn't even need to read their letter, I just know that these are the right people, tell them that they'll have a baby." Obviously I read the letter but it was just reiterated once more and stronger yet that R & S were THE parents! I remember hugging Annie and what a connection there was. How great the spirit is. How great the gospel is and to know that you made a PERFECT decision. Even more amazing is Heavenly Father, who gave his son so that we could be forgiven of our sins.
I am so grateful for the gospel and all it has done in my life for the atonement, and for the people that live the gospel truly like a true Latter Day Saint should. R & S will be the BEST examples to their children, and they will forever be an example to me. I want to be the BEST I can be, and though I'll make mistakes I've got wonderful examples all around me. I will be forever grateful for E's family, parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The love I've received from them is too amazing to tell. What love and respect I have for them! And what a blessing it is to know that six years later, you can still have a witness from our Heavenly Father letting you know that they are a perfect family. Though, I still think they need a girl:).

I love you guys, and I'm grateful for all of you who impacted my life in such a positive way during that time in my life!
And I am grateful for the testimony that I have, and am able to have, about the true church!

1 comment:

  1. Jena, thanks for sharing! I am so glad you shared this post. I've only decided on August 26th that we were ready to adopt, and already it's been an emotional roller coaster! I sometimes feel it is close and going to happen, and other times, I have no hope that it's ever going to happen. We already had two of our own, so I don't know what the odds are of someone choosing us. We are still working on paperwork through lds social services, but not sure they'll accept us either since we are not technically "infertile". We just have a lot of complications and feel like adoption is right for us! Pray that something happens. It is so great to reconnect in this way:) I sure love you and feel blessed to have you for a friend! I'd like to correspond through email. My address is jess.gillespie4@gmail.com. Write any time. I'd love to pick your brain! Love, Jess