Saturday, October 25, 2014

October: Adoption Love Link-up

I love my little family, and all that they have done with me for adoption. I have had a very supportive husband always encouraging me to go to events, groups, and blogs:). I have been very open about my adoption, so my kids, as well, have always been aware of little E and his family. 

One thing we do, and why I haven't documented it I can't figure out why, is have blueberry muffins on his birthday, plop a candle in the middle and POP. It has been a family tradition of mine growing up, and its one of my FAVORITE things to do.  OK, so its my absolute favorite thing to do. We do it for each person in the family, and my littles got to join in and HELP make the muffins this year(who knew they'd be awake to help).  We love celebrating that little man and his family!

We love calling and sending the "happy birthday" song through text, and try to remember each birthday. 

I am often amazed at my littlest, and how loving and careful she is when she gets to tell someone that I am a birth mom, and that she has a half brother, and that his "whole family loves her too". She loves adoption, she loves what she understands, and what she has gained. She loves showing off him and his family, and saying to her brother and sister who he is.  

How do I hope to be included???
They send me flowers every year on his birthday!  On HIS birthday, they send ME flowers!  They don't need to do that, they don't need to celebrate me, or whatever, because its his day!  But I can't complain, and I will admit that I do love it, because I feel they remember me. I feel honored!
I hope to be able to be there for a birthday one day.  When we are all ready, if that time comes, it would be a blast. When I think of the birthdays I would love to be there for, while all would be fun, its the ones that in our religion, are bigger deals 8 -12 -18 - or any in between:)  
Its hard because its not just about wanting to be there for his birthday. While I want to be there to celebrate him, I want to see him celebrate with HIS family!  Oh it would be cool!

so there we are:)

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Huge - Manatees

I truly am the worst blogger lately. I blame it on the dying computer. 
So here I am, answering SEPTEMBERS question:) 

 How, if at all, has adoption changed your view of humanity (for good or bad)?

In both ways I have been blessed to see the good, and the bad. So, I'll start with the bad:  

*** disclaimer ****  
this is MY opinion. and I am FINE with others having their own opinion. This is just what I feel and view with my position.

BAD:  I can't say it is bad, as much as it is disappointing. 
It is true, that I didn't really know a whole lot about adoption before I became a pregnant teen.  The most I'd heard came from a Birth Parent panel that was held in a class I took in HS.  It wasn't something that I thought was bad, or good, or anything in reality. Because, in reality, I didn't have any experience with it, and I didn't need to think about it.  I had seen a girl in my HS class become pregnant, and had been told she placed her baby for adoption. My response was, "Cool, I am glad everything worked out for her."  
I think the biggest thing I've learned is the UNEDUCATED are RAMPANT. Its absolutely astonishing to hear or see others opinions on adoption. How they truly believe the stereotype birth parent is all there is.  Or that someone said, "adoption is murder"... yes I responded... "No, Abortion is murder."  "Adoption is the growth of a child, placed into a home handpicked by me, to have a chance at life. To grow, and succeed, and be loved by SO MANY PEOPLE." I think that is the "bad" the idea that people find abortion a better option than adoption.  I can't say more on it, I get a tad bit emotional.  
With that, the adoption community: maybe its just Utah, but its as bad as it is good. Its something that I've had to pick and choose to be a part of, and what to voice an opinion on or not voice an opinion on.  Where there is love there is hate. (PS I hate the word hate)

Where there is bad there is GOOOOOOOD.
And oh goodness is all around. With equal astonishment, I have been surrounded by love and support that I NEVER dreamed I'd have. Love and friendships with other birth parents that have shaped my view, and love, and strength, and desires of adoption.  Equal love and friendships with Adoptive families, that TRULY.... TRULY... have become MY family, and have healed me in ways I didn't know could happen.  They have taken a spot left empty.  There is an incredible group of people out there to lift and carry so many left broken and battered. To shout from the rooftops of how great adoption is, and how great it CAN be! Witnessing the love of birth parents to their adopted families, to adoptive families and their birth parents. Its amazing. It is awe inspiring to think of the joy I have felt seeing families I have never met in "real life" be joined with their amazing babies, and their birth families! 
with that... PS, I have so many more reasons to LOVE September now, than I already did before!  

So there you have it. My VERY late Link up:)

- Jena

OH.. why the HUGE MANATEES title?
well, I had a Humanities teacher in High School, that told a story about his coming to teach that class. Obviously, he heard "huge manatees" not Humanities.
It is the first thing that comes to mind EVERY TIME I hear the word!


Friday, October 3, 2014

Adoption Love Link-Up

So, there is this AMAZING girl, Kristen, and we have never met... EVER. She is gorgeous, kind, heartfelt, honest, and the adoptive mom, to the most GORGEOUS little baby ever! Not only that, she is also the mommy to her angel baby, Evelyn, who is in the arms of her Father in Heaven!  She is so strong, and amazing!!!   Its been awe inspiring reading her story, seeing a tiny bit into her life, and just loving her!
So, she started something so fun, and intriguing; Adoption Love Link-Up(see side bar). 
I am lucky enough to be part of the link up party!!!  So here is my first ever Adoption Love INTRO!!!

My name is Jena - I am 30 something, and i LOVE adoption.
The life that lead me to adoption wasn't anything truly crazy or extravagant, or even interesting.
I was in HS, and became involved with a boy out of high school. He was "so cute", and "so cool", and made me feel like I was so cute and cool too.  But I also felt stuck, and scared, and many other things. 
In that relationship I became pregnant, after 3 months of dating. We spend the next 8 months going up and down in our relationship, all while trying to navigate what to do with this child we'd created. 
In the end, we chose adoption. He stayed around to help me through, and wasn't TOTALLY bad, but we were toxic. He was there, signed the relinquishment papers together, and was there to place our son into the arms of his amazing mom and dad.

I am now 11 years and 2 days post placement, and I DO NOT regret my choice to place at all. I know that little man is EXACTLY where he was meant to be. I feel blessed and honored to be his Birth Mom. Though getting there wasn't glamorous or cool, I am proud of what it taught me, and continues to teach me. 
He is so smart, loving, caring, and handsome. He has the best mom and dad that have given him every opportunity to search out his joys, his talents, and love of life. They are GORGEOUS, and their families are just as amazing!  I wish I lived closer so I could love on them all more, but we know its OK this way!  

I am also a Mommy to 3 1/2 littles. Lou, Roo, Bubba, and little Miss #4 is due in February.
I love playing with my littles, coloring, and singing and having dance parties all day!  My hubby supports my crazy love for adoption, and you can see him blog here too!(though very sporadically) He is a huge support and push to achieve my dreams with adoption!

I am a Mom, a wife, daughter in law, sis in law, sister, and daughter:)  SO MUCH MORE.
I am a write for BTG, and love public speaking.I am part of an amazing community at Open Adoption, Open Heart, and LOVE those I've come in contact with because of adoption!!!

I can't wait to continue this journey, and now be part of this amazing link-up!  I hope to make more friends, and have more fun than ever!!!