Monday, August 27, 2012

Heart

November 6, 2009


I had the opportunity to go to group. I haven't been in over a year and it was SO different. Obviously with it being 6 years the girls I knew were long gone. Six years! Six years ago I looked like those little girls. I wanted to cry right when I walked through the door. They had no idea what they were in for, or what they had JUST experienced! One thing is for sure, they were very quiet, so i talked A LOT, but that's what helps you heal. We talked a lot about choices, and things that remind us of the decisions that we made. Reasons why we placed, or were going to, or reasons why some weren't sure what their plans were. There was one girl who placed not too long ago who is living with an adoptive family. The mom that she was living with was there, and was involved with LDSFS soon after I had placed. The love she has for her birth mothers, and her children, and for that young girl who had just placed was awesome! Anyway, to the story... This girl has been having some 'problems' with her adoptive couple. The 'problem' isn't that she is one of those crazy birth moms and wants to see them all the time and know every minute detail... but she wants to have a relationship with the adoptive couple. She wants them to treat her more as a sister/friend rather than a birth mom. She wishes that they could know how much she loves them and that they have nothing to worry about as far as her feeling uncomfortable with her decision. Its hard for her seeing this couple that she is living with be so loving and accepting of their children's birth parents, and not get that same feeling with hers. She has been guarded in things she has said cause she doesn't want them to feel like they need to guard themselves or feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to hug her cause I can't imagine having a situation where they didn't really want to talk to you! Another girl had JUST turned 16 and was planning on parenting. This girl has such potential, and was beautiful. Her mom was there, and looked like her heart had been stomped on! Oh it was so sad. One thing we always talk about in group, or in any atmosphere when there is a discussion on adoption, is the confirmation you receive when you know what you are supposed to do. One thing was, she wasn't sure that she was making the right decision. She based that decision on the fact that she'd already bought stuff for the baby, and not necessarily because of 'knowing'.

In the end I really wanted to share my MOST FAVORITE scripture to these girls.

D&C 6:22-23

I just felt like they needed to be reminded that our Heavenly Father is right there. And that if you ask a question he WILL answer you, and you will get the answer that is right.

Now, like I've said time and time again.. Adoption is not for everyone. And sometimes girls get the answer that they are supposed to parent. I AGREE with the girls that do parent, when its the right thing to do. I think all girls that have an unexpected pregnancy need to know that if YOU feel the decision you are making is the RIGHT decision, others will feel that as well. The confirmation that the Holy Ghost gives you will be given to those around you. I just hope those girls remember what they are doing and why they are doing it... Adoption is an INCREDIBLE gift. And how appropriate that November is National Adoption Awareness month?! I'll be doing a post just for that!

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