sacrifices

I believe that whether you choose to Place your child for adoption, single parent, get married and parent, or co-parent with the bf/ biological father, there is one thing that is all in common. 

Sacrifice.

Though they all have a different meaning of sacrifice, they're all very much the same, in certain ways, as well.

I believe that when a girl, boy, or couple, decides to place a child for adoption they are making the ultimate sacrifice. They are not only sacrificing the desire to parent that child, and raise him/her to be everything wonderful. They are sacrificing their hearts. Knowing that after that child comes into this world, complete in perfection, that they will have to have their hearts completely broken when they place that child into a couples arms.  I sacrificed my future, my heart, my soul, and my own momentary happiness to give that child the BEST life. (and truly, my little buddy has the BEST life)

I believe that when you Single parent, you sacrifice your time, your wants, your needs, and your desires to do what is best to give that child the life it deserves. You sacrifice spending special time with that baby so that you can go to work and/or school to support them. You have to sacrifice those moments early on to be able to finish school(if you've chosen to do so), so that you can only have to work 1 job, and have no other interruptions.  You do so, so that they won't have to be in daycare 5-7 days a week, or be taken care of by another person. You sacrifice the things you want to do, so that they will be healthy. I don't go out sometimes, because they need to be home for naps, or they're not feeling 100%. I don't get new clothes, because they need clothing, diapers, wipes, etc. You sacrifice, in a way, your happiness. Life is never easy as a Single parent. You are the Mother and the Father. You have to do double duty. Luckily, most of these single moms (or dads) have family that helps them, so they aren't alone. 

Getting married, Its not the best situation to get into, to be married because of a baby. NO, not everyone gets married just because they are pregnant. But lots do. Lots believe that the baby will help them be together and be strong. It makes is so hard, being a newlywed and 9 months(or less) later you welcome your first baby. Its a lot of stress to put on a marriage. Its a lot of stress no matter what the situation to welcome a baby into the world.  But, I think its easier to be Married and parent, than any other option. At least, if you are married for the right reasons. It doesn't make the WORK of marriage easier, but its easier to have another parent present, in the home, to help share the responsibilities. And even then, sometimes the other parent, though present in the home, is not present in the responsibility and duties of taking care of the child. there are so many different situations... nothings always going to be perfect and super easy. Just because you're married and have a child, doesn't mean it won't have its own challenges, and that it will be 100% easier.

Co-parenting, or, not getting married but parenting the child with your boyfriend.  Again, there are different situations. Maybe you aren't "together", so every other weekend the other person takes the baby for their "visitation". Much like divorce, there are lots of things that won't be easy or fun, and mostly for the child. Going back and forth between homes, being with one parent, or the other. New people coming into their lives. Sometimes you'll live with the other person, but not be married, still easier than the back an forth. I don't have experience with either of these, I don't want to have to experience them either, not for me, but for my children's sake.

All situations have to have sacrifice. Some are harder than others. They are all different. But they all take sacrifice.  If I had to order them which i thought would be easiest to hardest... 

Married - easiest

co-parenting 

single parenting

placing a child for adoption - hardest

Now, I say placing a child for adoption is hardest because of how heart breaking it is. BUT, yes, we can go forward in life, and do what we want/need to to better ourselves and make things better for when we have children.  If you look at it as a life long thing... i don't know whats easier or harder. Situations are all different. Sometimes women who place still struggle 10 years down the road as they did 1 year down the road. single parents get married - or they don't... and have to be everything that baby needs(which you can't always be).  Each option is hard. No one is perfect, and no one will make everything peachy and perfect. Life is not peachy and perfect.  But, each option needs to be taken and done in what is the best thing for the child. There are rewarding moments to parenting, and placing, and being married. There are super hard moments to all as well. Nothing is perfect.

Now, I know there is lots that can be said about each of these situations. I am VERY LIGHTLY touching base on what I think. ME, no one else, its what I see and have seen. And I know there can be MUCH added to each situation. So, don't get upset, take it as a very SIMPLIFIED version. Maybe I can get a couple people to share what their decisions were and why.