So that post... the one I just posted...
I had been questioning lots if I wanted to continue in sharing my story.
I questioned what kind of "in there" I wanted in the adoption community. What kind of advocacy I wanted to be a part of, how deep to be in it. Was it even making a difference? Was it hurting more than helping?
So many questions were running through my mind. . . Then something happened.
I was contacted by a dear dear friend. A fellow Birth Mother. One who has been through SO much. And what did she say, "You are one of the BIG reasons I chose adoption." Seriously, I'm not here to be like "Bayam I'm the woman." But it stopped me in my tracks, dropped me to my knees, and my stomach dropped to the floor. It was something I need to hear in that moment. It was AMAZING, to know that I did help someone. Because I showed that life does go on, and you can be OK after placing a child. Especially with a closed adoption(not mine). I am so thankful for her. I don't know why she decided to text me that night, but she was inspired. Because we weren't talking about us initially. It was a blessing.
I have also been contacted by other Adoption advocacy groups asking to share/guest blog, on their sites. WHAT?????? Everything I've been questioning and wondering if my story was even being heard or mattered, was. It IS. I am in shock.
There is so much more going on in this community that I am blessed to be a part of that I can't share.
So many sacred moments between myself and some amazing women who have carried me, and supported me, and given me advice. Who have fasted for, and with, me. This is what I needed right now.
This doesn't go without saying I'm sure there will be more hard moments... but... I can get through them.
I have more hands holding me up than tearing me down!!!
Thank you. THANK YOU. to those who have touched my life this week... and in the past... and to the future;)
NEW YORK NEW YORK .... I'm coming
and IDAHO.. who knew I'd ever wanna go there.
and TEXAS... its gonna happen!
I am an adoptee. I'm 54 years old and due to some unanswered health questions, I asked my doctor to write a letter the the courts in Los Ang to ask for a hearing to open my files. $24 dollars, 4 months later, I had my entire file. Closed adoption. I had always known I was adopted, it was no secret. "the mom and dad were divorcing and couldn't care for the baby". That's what I grew up believing. I was greatful to them for caring enough to give me a father and a mother. I never even wanted to know who they were, until now. My husband and I had to relocate, we picked Montana. It looked pretty in the brochures. We'd been here 6 years before I got my adoption file. Yea, weird, they were all here in Montana. ALL of us came from California. I wasn't an only child, I am one of 8. They are more disfunctional than my adopted family!! LOL. It's not always greener. I missed meeting my mom by 4 months. I'm glad I didn't have to meet her only to watch her die. I have no NO ill feelings for her giving me up. I hate that saying....she gave me a life. And I thank her from the bottom of my heart. My adoptive dad has passed and my adoptive mom has alzheimers, so I finally did it. I'm glad. But I realize, it's not my life, just a part of it. There are so many people out there who live with pain because of a child they gave away. Be at peice. We all make mistakes and although I do not consider myself a mistake, just bad timing. And I am able now to consider many people as family and have such a peice in my heart because I know she loved me. I see her through my brothers and sisters. It was a divine appointment. YEA the Holy Spirit. God bless all the birth moms out there. We're ok. We don't hate you! We admire you. And dad, thanks for caring for mom. Carrying a child for 9 months, that person becomes a part of you. Your wife lost a part of herself. But thank God, she carries her faith in her heart and on her sleeve for everyone to see. God bless her. vickie
ReplyDeleteI love you more than words sister! Mwah! <3 Jammie Elkins
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