I haven't been in the adoption advocacy game very long. At least, not publicly. I was able to become more involved when I found Open Adoption, Open Heart. I slowly started making comments here and there, and soon realized what a great thing this was!
Only within the last couple months or so, has my involvement grown and expanded to the point I am at now. In that time I've been able to come in contact with SO MANY birth parents. Many stories good, many stories bad, many similar to mine, and some extreme opposites. The idea of what is possible in sharing and becoming an advocate... is AMAZING! The things that are happening are dreams come true!
But, then you have something else that you see on this side of the fence. Something I wasn't prepared for, or even anticipated. The idea that there are, more than not, birth parents competing with other birth parents. Support groups, or adoption advocacy groups, competing with other groups. To be honest, I was IN SHOCK, to say the least.
Why. In. The. World. are we competing?! We all came to this point, to this title, by the same ropes. We all placed children for adoption. Whether it be by choice, or by force, or in faith, or fear, we are all here sharing in this experience. There is no one story that is the same. NOT A SINGLE ONE. We all have a different outlook. A different experience. A different love, and life. What we DO have, is that we are all birth parents. We all love those babies we placed, we love their parents, and even though we are all at different places, we are HERE.
WE need to be here supporting each other, supporting ALL groups. Supporting ALL things positive in adoption. That doesn't mean that we cower away from, or ignore the hard, negative things. But, why not take the road we are all on and build each other up?!!! Why not push each other to be the best we can. To help others the best we can? We are all here, together. I don't know what else to say, how else to say it...
QUIT THE COMPETING, the BELITTLING, and the BASHING.
Start supporting, encouraging, and celebrating!
We are all in this together. WE all need to be better.
Do it. It really is that simple. JUST DO IT. BE BETTER.