Journaling the Adoption ABC's

 Here is my first ever Journal page. ( well art journal page)

It looks better in real life... but it has improved I hope.  I already wrote a little about acceptance. though, even weeks later, it can still be added to.

 Here is the Boundaries opening page.  I love watercolor(fyi)

CLARITY

C is for CLARITY

"We need to remember that we chose what we did, at the time that we did, because of the knowledge that we had, the pro-con lists and our best emotional judgment. - ASHLEY MITCHELL, BIB."

I initially wrote the lyrics for "Clarity" by John Mayer.

mostly for this part:

"By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on"

In this moment, I don't have a real problem with the 'clarity' of my adoption. I know why my choice was to place that little boy. I know why I had to do it. I know why I needed to do it. It was based on what knowledge I had at the time.  And what I thought was best. Who knew where I would be the following year, where his Birth Father and I would be. We were so toxic.  BOTH of us were. 

I have FULL CLARITY and peace on my decision to place a child for adoption. I am at peace with that. Though, there are so many other aspects of those days, ten years ago, and even a fewer more recent, that need clarity. I need to look and see what it is, and why it is.