Wednesday, September 5, 2012

my very first little

On Friday, we celebrated my very first Little's birthday!!!!
5 years old, and so tall, and blond, and beautiful! 
Little did I know, that she would be my loudest, craziest, grumpiest little ever. If she doesn't get the sleep she needs, you know it. And she tries ever so hard to be a grown up. Tonight she posed the question, "Why can't I just be an adult like you and do the things you do?" I wish I could go back to her little days and wish to be big, instead of actually being big.

I remember that day, the day she decided she was ready to come see us. It was a Sunday, just like E, and I started having contractions, just like E. I even went to church and sat through DJ teaching our Sunday School class. Just like with baby E.  It was oddly the same, even left the for the hospital at the same time.  It was a quick 5 hours, I got scared and had the epidural too soon, and didn't dare tell them it was too much. So, we slowed a bit.  BUT, in that time, I got to talk about how I was gong to have my own baby. I was going to be able to bring her to my house, and name her, and take care of her. I would be the one to witness all those "firsts".  I was so excited.

Once I saw her precious little face, my heart came to my throat and about choked me.  I couldn't believe how much I loved her. I said a little prayer, thanking my Heavenly Father for allowing me to bring E to the world, so that I would be so much more grateful to this little angel!  The first thing I said,... "what do I do now?"  I didn't nurse E, how was I supposed to do that with her? What could I do? I didn't know what to do with a baby of my own. I didn't put her down once in the hospital... and her poor daddy didn't get to snuggle her much for probably 2 weeks straight!  I couldn't put her down, I was afraid I'd wake up from this dream and she'd be gone.  I finally relaxed. She was here. She was my very own. And I loved her!

Happy birthday to the cutest 5 year old EVER!!



1 comment:

  1. So sweet, love reading your blog! Every young girl who is considering placing their baby needs to read your experience, your a rock and it's breathtaking.

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