A move happened on September 22, 2018.
Myself, my 4 littles, and a truck moved to the Northern Part of UT. It was a quick happening move. It was a miracle that it happened. It has continued to be a miracle.
I have felt many moments in the last 2 years of hopelessness, brokenness, bitterness, anger, hate, fear, doubt, sadness, resentment, regret, and so much more. I lost hope. I lost love. I lost the light. I prayed harder than ever before, every second of my life, to make it through each day. I held onto my children and what they needed to stay on solid ground. There were 2 moments I truly broke ... where I felt like there was no more light... as if God had left me and hope... happiness... faith... seemed to flee and I felt would never return.
Therapy... I went there... Eyes were opened to my worth, and to where I felt my worth. I didn't. I felt worthless. I felt like a failure. I felt like every time I tried I would get beat back down. Then a miracle happened....... after a short conversation I felt HOPE. I didn't know how, what, when, where, who would make this happen but I felt hope.
Miracles? I didn't truly know of miracles. I know I have seen Gods hand in my life, but had never TRULY witnessed a miracle.... Who knew that there would be endless miracles for myself and my sweet tiny littles.
Miracles-
1 being told I could leave.
2. Friends turned sisters... a tribe... family isn't always blood.
3.A moving truck
4. Friends and Strangers sacrificing for me... for my family.
5. Safely driving
6. A Home.
7. A School.
... a job... a daycare... a ward... a bishop... FRIENDS... friends who are family... a car... safety... peace... love...
I returned to my home just under 12 years after I left. I will never forget what I have been blessed with. I will never forget those who helped us. As we drove into the valley immediate peace entered my soul. I felt something I hadn't in so long. The last time I left I wanted to leave every memory that came with it. I wanted to forget the people, pain, the past. I didn't know I missed it and what it did for me being here. Home.
I want healing. I want growth. I want safety and peace to continue for my little family. I want others to be brave. I want others to seek help. I want others to heal and get the help they need. I want others to see the light... to feel hope... to know that it can get better. And those who are hurting... I want them to heal!!!
